Self-doubt & A Single Mom’s Decisions

Self Doubt and a Single Moms Decisions Kelly Heard coaching woman riding bicycle

Like a dead bug on your windshield, self-doubt is one of those emotions that pretty much all of us experience at some point in our lives.

Sometimes you can clean it up quickly and it goes away. But sometimes it stays there as this annoying smudge that hangs out in the periphery, clouding your vision every.single.day.

For some people, self-doubt occurs in many areas of life, and for some just a few. For this post, I’ll be talking about self-doubt when it comes to making parenting decisions.

It’s no news flash that this can be a challenging job. We Moms are constantly needing to make decisions for our children’s well-being, from large to small:

✔️ What school to send them to. 

✔️ What pediatrician to see. 

✔️ How to care for a child with a chronic illness. 

✔️ What is a good bedtime for their age. 

✔️ How many hours a day you should let them use the iPad. 

✔️ Etc, etc, etc.

The list goes on and on and on, changing as they develop through each stage of life.  Throughout all of this, we are bombarded with an endless number of news reports, blogs, and books, all offering the ‘best’ and ‘latest’ advice on how to parent your children.

With so many opinions on what’s ‘best’ for your children, it’s common for Moms to second-guess themselves on what choices we make. And if we no longer have a husband or partner in the household to easily turn to for advice and support, it’s common for single Moms to feel overwhelmed when deciding which route to take.

Sometimes our self-doubt is made worse when our parenting is scrutinized or by our exes, mothers, former mothers-in-law, our child’s teacher – basically any parental armchair quarterback. 

Woah, Nellie. 🐴  Hit the pause button.

I’ve seen so many women spin and spin in indecision because they have relied on a partner as their parental backup or sounding board while they were together. And when they don’t have that endorsement to rely on, they become plagued with self-doubt.

Understandable, yes. We’re all human.

But what they don’t realize that they’ve already been making great decisions all along, on their own. They simply felt as though they needed someone else’s endorsement for their decisions in order to believe they’ve made the right decision.

If you find yourself spinning in self-doubt, the first thing to do to overcome it is to become aware of your thoughts. Understand where they may have come from, and whether or not keeping those thoughts will serve you. (spoiler alert: probably not)

So now it’s time to focus your energy on thoughts that will serve you going forward. 

If you experience self-doubt as a parent, ask yourself these questions:

➡️ What if I did know the answer, without turning to an outside source?

➡️ What if I trusted my own judgement?

➡️ How would I show up as a confident parent if I chose to believe in my own judgement, decision-making, and parenting ability?

➡️ What if I owned my decisions regardless of whether or not I have someone else’s approval?

Freedom and self-assurance come from deciding to believe that you are able to make the best decisions for your kids and be a great Mom, without someone else’s input or approval

🧚🏻‍♀️ I hereby give you permission to let go of the need for anyone else’s advice for what’s best for your child.

Because the fact is, YOU are the expert on what’s best for your child.

Yes, you.

How do I know that?

Because you ARE their mother.

That’s all the approval you need.

YOU are the only parenting approval you need.

Because you’ve already been doing a great job.

And you have been all along. 💜

What are some ways that you’ve experienced self-doubt as a single mom? How have you been able to overcome your self-doubt?

Head over to my Facebook page and share in the comments! 

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