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I don’t need to tell you that we humans get into disagreements from time to time.

Some start out small, then snowball into larger and larger disagreements over time and with each exchange of words.

The next thing you know they’re creating rifts between family members and friends, damaging relationships that go unrepaired for years, or even for the rest of their lives.

And somewhere along the way everyone involved lost sight of how petty the initial agreement may have been.

Someone said her brother’s wife’s potato salad isn’t very good.
A group of siblings thinks it’s not fair that their parents lent another sibling money for car repairs. Again.
A bridesmaid wouldn’t spring for her friend’s bachelorette party in Vegas.
Sister A told someone Sister B gives boring birthday gifts.

Just a tiny spattering of the things people create disagreements over.

And yet, if you ask them, each party probably wouldn’t look at the reason for the disagreement as petty.

When we feel we’ve been wronged somehow, we feel justified in clinging to our anger, no matter the reason. And no matter the consequences.

We tell ourselves a story over and over again of how we are the one who is right, because that person shouldn’t treat us this way.

Some people carry their stories of how they’re been wronged for YEARS. Even taking them to their graves.

Super sad.

Because our stories of what took place are EXACTLY that. Just stories. Not reality.

They are merely thoughts that we have about a situation. Thoughts about an action, inaction, or interaction. Thoughts about an exchange of words.

Yet our thoughts about them are all OPTIONAL. And holding on to our stories is optional as well.

Letting go of our stories frees us from the suffering we create for ourselves by thinking that the people around us should behave differently and treat us differently.

Letting go redirects our mental energy towards strengthening our relationships with others, allowing us to experience more meaningful interactions with the people who are most important to us.

This weekend, think about some disagreements you may have had with someone (or are having right now!). Try to focus on the original reason for it, and how you might be able to let go of it being a reason for carrying negative thoughts of that person.

Then let it go, Elsa, let it go.

If you feel a weight lifting off your shoulders, you’re doing it right.


P.S. Tempers can flare easily in the summer heat. You can learn the ice princess’s wisdom of ‘letting it go’ with a FREE, 30-minute strategy session. Just click here to reserve your session now. (corny Dad jokes not included)

P.P.S. Working with a coach can help you repair any sadness, frustration, and long-term relationship damage caused by disagreements. It can help you learn to have a conflict-free relationship with anyone in your life, regardless of how they behave. Get started by clicking here.

We’re coming to the end of National Sing With Your Child Month, so here’s a flashback of my daughter and me in our community theater’s production of Bye Bye Birdie.

She’s moved on to high school-related activities, but we really enjoy the memories of the several summers we were acting and singing in plays together, alongside other families.

One option to keep your kids active – and yet still stay connected with them – is to find something that you can do together as a family.

Not sitting passively on the sidelines as your kid participates, but really participating together.

I get it – it’s hard enough finding time to keep up with everything that *has* to be done, yet alone add things to your already demanding schedule.

But as the mom of a high school student, I can attest to how fast the time with your kids passes.

The laundry, shopping, and dishes will get done somehow.

But the chances to create memories having fun doing something alongside your kids is fleeting.

Make the plans today.

When your kids are older, you won’t regret having them get clothes right out of the laundry basket to get dressed for school. (TBH you probably won’t even remember!).

But you will regret letting the chance to be with them, in whatever form, pass you by.

💜

One of the key elements of coaching is that our feelings are caused by our thoughts. This was one of the hardest things for me to grasp when I first got started with life coaching.

Like most people, I had always believed that my feelings – both positive and negative – just happen; they’re caused by other people and the things that take place in my life.

Most of us aren’t familiar with the concept of managing our thoughts. Because not only are we never taught how to, we’re not even taught that it’s possible – that it’s even a ‘thing’.

I am here to tell you it is. If this stubborn Irish woman can let go of her old beliefs to make it happen, I think anyone can.

Because eventually I realized how disempowering it is to believe that I am at the effect of the circumstances in my life. I got past my typical stubborn skepticism of believing that something like life coaching only works for other people, but not for me.

I learned how to manage my thoughts, and saw the immediate benefits it had on how I felt about myself, about other people, and about my life in general.

Call it the luck of the Irish.

Now I get to do this for a living. I get to see the transformation in other people when they (I’m gonna go there) get to the other side of the rainbow. *insert eyeroll here*

Happy St. Patrick’s Day, Mamas.

I dedicate this post to my often-stubborn Irish grandmother, Mary Catherine “Katie” Martin. I know you’re up in heaven getting your buldoon painted green today, Grandmom.

Think life coaching is an easy career? Then here’s a myth-buster for you: while it feels easy on most days because I love what I do, we don’t just get certified and sent on our way to do whatever we want with it. Not where I was certified, at least.

I was trained & certified through The Life Coach School. (yes, the one with the awesome podcast & group coaching program). In order to maintain our active certified coach status, we have to apply for re-certification annually.

That means we are required to:

attend monthly learning calls for certified coaches

attend special supplemental learning courses (this year they included a Diversity, Equity, & Inclusion course, and another on Therapy vs Coaching and knowing when to refer someone to counseling).

(just this year) attend a suicide prevention course

pass an exam on all of the current year’s learning

maintain minimum requirements for coaching hours

regularly publish free educational content through a blog, podcast, or otherwise

In exchange, we have access to all of the LCS free training and tools for free, for life.

And, of course, the pride of knowing the incredible value we provide as life coaches. Because we know the more tools we have in our toolboxes, the greater the help we give to our clients.

We don’t just ‘offer guidance’.

We change lives.

Are you in?

So many of our beliefs about money were learned from the adults who were around us growing up, influenced by our culture:

It’s tacky to talk about how much money you have.

If you want to make a lot of money, you have to work hard for it. And the more you want, the harder you have to work.

How much money you earn depends heavily on your education and your field of work.

The reality is, money is not inherently good or bad. Those labels come from when we assign meaning to it in our minds.

And the amount of money we make depends completely on the thoughts we have about money. If we think we can’t make more, or have more, we won’t. We remain in the time-for-money conundrum.

If we think we can make more and have more, we very likely will. We think about money from a place of abundance. From there, our minds open up to the possibilities for making more based on the limitless options for creating value.

What were you taught about money growing up? If you want to change how much you currently have, do you see yourself being able to change your thoughts and beliefs about money?

You can change your beliefs around money – including how you can make more. Just click here to get started.

I’ve been taking a lot of trips down Memory Lane lately.

My stepmom is selling the house we grew up in (my dad passed away 5 years ago). I’ve been helping to sort through the decades of stuff that they’d stored in the garage.

The vintage avocado green melamine dishes we used when I was little.

Vintage Coleman lanterns used on many a family camping trip.

My dad’s old Boy Scout knife, complete with cowboy-fringed leather holder.

My extensive collection of Bernard Kliban cat swag.

Plus, several boxes of my high school and college memorabilia. Yearbooks, photo albums, countless movie and concert ticket stubs.

All reminders of the fun and I had in those years. The simpler times.

Would I ever want to go back? Nope.

People are usually astonished when they hear me say that. “Life was so great as a kid/in high school/in college. Why wouldn’t you?”

I believe you can enjoy the memories of your past (the memories that serve you), but still prefer the here and now.

And, love the future and what it holds in store for you even more. Even when we don’t know exactly what that is.

Did I enjoy growing up, being a kid, and all the great experiences that came with it? Of course!

But I don’t believe in dwelling on those times and glorifying them like they were the best years I’ll ever have.

The past is comfortably enjoyable.

But I know that my future,
no matter how uncertain,
no matter how much pain and sadness and frustration
and anything else I might experience,
will be exciting and happy and rewarding too.

(Not the least of which is I’m looking forward to hopefully being a grandmother some day!!)

Our futures exist so we can grow and learn and experience things that will create the next set of memories for us, helping us live full and rewarding lives.

What do you think about your own future?

Make a list of at least five things you look forward to in the future. Then tuck that list in a book or your nightstand drawer, and re-read it every once in a while as a good reminder of what promises the future holds for you.

P.S. If you feel so buried by what’s going on in your life now that you can’t even think about your future, it’s time to get some coaching. Live the life you’ve always wanted. Sign up for a free strategy session and we’ll start clearing up the overwhelm of the present to get you looking forward to your own future. Click here to grab your spot.

I’m often in awe of my aunt and uncle, who have been married for more than 50 years now.

Fifty.Years.

Can you imagine?

We traveled to the midwest to visit them for a few days recently. When spending time around them, it’s not hard to guess how they made it that long.

IMO, it comes down to a few things:

They both work very hard. My aunt is in her 70s, and still works as a realtor. They certainly don’t need the money, she just enjoys her work. My uncle is a retired math teacher who often held two jobs. He didn’t have to, but he likes to stay active and enjoys the rewards that working brings.

Their work ethic has always helped them maintain their sense of individual achievement. And yet the results of their work benefited the whole family at the same time.   

They spend a lot of time enjoying life – together and apart. They make it a point to regularly go on vacations, out to dinner, to parties, and other quality time activities, by themselves and with friends.

They also spend time apart – visiting friends, visiting family, my uncle on his fishing trips, my aunt with her girls’ weekends.

There is no clingy-ness there, just trust and the reality that getting a break from one another can also be healthy for a relationship.   

They don’t do drama. Of course, my aunt’s upper midwest calm demeanor helps. But you’ll never hear them take jabs at one another (or others), hold grudges, roll their eyes, or get angry when someone doesn’t behave the way they wanted them to.

They understand what’s important to be concerned about, and what can and should be let go.

I’m sure there have been many difficult things go down between them and around them in those 50+ years. No marriage is perfect, of course.

And there are other reasons why I think they’ve made it this long.

But overall I think their success comes down to these 3 things:

Be willing to let go of your ego and focus on the collective.
Work hard, at your job and your relationship.
Approach everything with unconditional love and acceptance.

I hope you find some inspiration in my observations of this long and happy marriage, whether you’re married, engaged, partnered, co-habitating, or any form of a relationship.

P.S. – Feeling constantly busy, overwhelmed, and stressed out can take a toll on any relationship. Coaching can help you get re-centered and focus on what’s important in life, so you can rekindle the loving relationship you’ve been missing. Get started with a FREE 30-minute strategy session by clicking here. 

A fellow working mom was recently telling me how she felt like her life was pretty good: career is good, relationship with her husband is good, kids are good. She has most things going well and under control.

Except, she said, she was “totally failing at taking care of my health and exercising”.

Although she seemed healthy, this idea of failing at her health was this big issue plaguing her mind, and affecting how she looked at her life as a whole.

It was making the fact that she was killing it in all the other areas of her life seem almost meaningless.

We women do that to ourselves OFTEN. Even if 99% of our lives are great, we look for ONE thing that we want to believe isn’t, and focus on it.
Relentlessly.

It’s as if we have to find at least SOME reason to throw shade on ourselves.
Believe we are less than perfect and whole, just as we are.  

Any form of hating on ourselves doesn’t serve us.

It keeps us from believing we are capable of doing great things.
It robs us of our joy, and blocks us from focusing on all of the things in our lives that ARE good, even great.

Which, when you think carefully, is a lot.

What are you believing about your life that you don’t have to?
What do you want to believe instead?

Practice believing that, and let that be the driver of how you view your life as a whole.

➡️ And click here if you’d like to start believing more things that empower you in your life ⬅️

Hope you have a beautiful week.

P.S. – If your life is looking pretty good, working with a coach can help you take it to the next level. Want to go for that big promotion? Finally get the guts to make the big leap to a new career? Take your relationships from good to great? I am your coach. All you have to do is click here to get started with a FREE strategy session. The next chapter of your life is waiting.

Take off the grubby sweatpants you’ve been wearing for the last year and do a happy dance! Life is finally returning to normal!

This is the moment we’ve been waiting for – we can finally get back to gathering with as many family and friends as we want, go to festivals and concerts, and yes – even send the kids to an overnight summer camp! (queue the fireworks!)

The joy many of us are feeling being able to return to our normal lifestyles is making some of us eager to make up for lost time, creating a rush to check off as many of those things that we can as soon as the opportunities pop up.

I’m guilty of it too.

  Have lunch to catch up? Check.
  Jaunts to the weekly farmer’s market? Check.
  Day trips to that quaint town by the river with the quirky shops? Check.
  Book a flight to see relatives halfway across the country? Check.
  Plan to do this, that, and the other thing? Check, check, and check.  

Woah, Nelly. I realized I’m acting like a racehorse out of the starting gate.

A lot of us are. And already, these new demands on their time have working moms feeling like they’ve just traded one set of stress inducers for another.

So let’s check in with ourselves to be sure we’re not overextending our time and energy in all the excitement.

It’s normal to want to take in all of the things that we missed about our lives once we’re able to. Just remember that when we’re in a hurry to do something, what we’re really in a hurry for is to feel what we think we’re going to feel once we are doing it.

But those feelings are available to us at any time.

Knowing this while we remember our goals for a balanced life can help us put the desire to “catch up on life” into perspective.

Trust that the things you want to do, and go to, and all the people you want to see, will still be there for you to enjoy in the fall and next summer.

Then prioritize what makes it onto your calendar to avoid risking a quick trip back to your pre-pandemic stress and overwhelm. (Including all the things the kids want to do, too.)

And if you get to feeling like the return to normal isn’t giving you the pandemic stress relief you’ve been hoping for, help is available.

There’s never been a better time to finally put an end to your feelings of hopelessness and frustration from the endless demands of being a working mom.

> > Join me for a free, 30-minute strategy session to find out how to have the rewarding, stress-free life you’ve been waiting for. < <

It’s there for you. Just click here to get started.

P.S. Are you thinking that the time off you’ll be taking this summer will be the answer to your getting-back-to-normal burnout? Maybe, but that’s only temporary. Fall will be here before you know it, and with it all the time management stress and burnout it brings. Now is the time to get coaching to help you keep it away for good. Click here to get started.

Nerd alert: I’m talking space science here I took a newfound interest in space exploration earlier this year when the Perseverance rover landed on Mars. It was really cool to see that one of the things they’re doing there is collecting rock and other samples to see if there really was life on Mars at one time. And, to learn more about what it’s like so humans can go there in the future. It’s the kind of stuff that’s straight out of old-school sci-fi movies. But what really caught my attention was the innovation in how they actually landed the Perseverance rover on the planet’s surface.   Remember the movie Hidden Figures where the teams of mathematicians and engineers spent months making mind-boggling calculations to decide the exact path a spaceship should take in order to land safely? So. Old. School. Perseverance uses a new technology called Terrain Relative Navigation. In short, the capsule takes pictures as it gets close to the planet’s surface and compares them to pictures stored in its memory. Then it uses artificial intelligence to decide if that’s a safe place to land. If it’s too steep or rocky, it looks for a smoother, safer place to land and goes there. The capsule itself makes the decision where to land, not a human.

The NASA engineers could have just gone with the familiar, tried-and-true landing method that’s been used since the 60s. Instead, they decided to take a relatively new capability – artificial intelligence – and marry it with their already advanced engineering prowess to create a possibility that didn’t exist before. Why? I’m no NASA engineer, but my guess is it wasn’t just for the fun of incorporating AI into the mission. Rather, to continue advancing human capabilities of space exploration. And grow our knowledge and potential as humans for the benefit of future generations. So how do we non-space engineers find motivation to engage in life-long learning for our own growth? What if we all lived our lives focused on doing the work to grow and evolve, even when we don’t have to? Curiosity and learning are part of our nature as humans. When we dedicate energy to continue our learning, we grow as individuals. That growth gives us options, and allows us to lead fuller lives.   Many of us stop our learning when we get out of school. With the exception of a few life experiences – how to do a job, raise kids, buy a house, etc., – we stop putting effort into our own growth and learning.    I get it – adulting takes a lot of time, energy, and brain power. Our brains have evolved to help us preserve energy, so that becomes default mode for us when we don’t have to do something in order to survive. So pretty much all of us have back-burnered any interest to somehow grow and learn because… job, marriage, and kids.   It’s not that busy moms don’t deserve down time when they need it. But how many times has that been our go-to reason for not learning or pursuing our own personal growth? There are soooo many of us who default to thinking we’re just too busy taking care of everyone and everything else to do anything for ourselves. Or that our kids, partner, and home should always come first, lest someone think we’re selfish.  And let’s face it, it’s easier to prioritize binge-watching Bridgerton in our downtime than it is to enroll in that Leadership Certificate Program you’ve been thinking about for four years now.  Or take the stained glass class. Or join the Female Writers book club. Or…., or…., or… If we want to teach our children the importance of creating a full and balanced life and what that looks like, we need to show them by example. They need to see us making it happen for ourselves, whatever that looks like. I want you to take some time to think about this: What kind of learning and growth opportunities have you been putting off in your adult life? (maybe even before marriage and kids came along) What can you do now to start making that happen so that you can show your kids, your partner, and your friends that you value living a full and diverse life? Putting the pieces of personal growth and learning in place isn’t an impossible pipe dream. It can absolutely happen for you. I can help. I coach busy working moms to create a life that make them feel fulfilled, balanced, and happy. The lives they’ve always wanted. ➡️ Click here to start making it happen with a FREE strategy session. ⬅️   P.S. Don’t allow yourself to think “when the kids are grown I’ll have time to pursue that degree/ start a new hobby/ write that book” or whatever your desire for personal growth looks like. It’s absolutely possible for it to begin NOW. If you’re not sure how to get started, just reach out for a free strategy session to find out how.