Story vs. Facts: What Do We Tell Ourselves?

Learning to separate facts vs. stories we tell ours elves can lead to emotional balance. from Kelly Heard Coaching

Understanding the difference between the facts of a circumstance vs the stories we tell ourselves about it can make a huge difference in our emotional well-being.

We as humans are prone to think about a factual circumstance and interpret it to mean something negative, often about ourselves.

Take this example:

Fact: Two nights ago, your son studied for a science quiz he had in school the next day. You received notice today that he scored a failing grade on the quiz. He now has a GPA 4 points from failing that class for the marking period.

Story: I should have known he needed help studying. I should have made time to help him instead of spending time on other things. Now he’s going to fail that class for the marking period, and it’s my fault. I’m not a very good mother. A good mother would have made helping him study a priority.

Do you see the difference here? When we look at the facts, it’s a simple situation. But when we create a story around it, we make it mean something terrible.

In doing so we make ourselves into victims, at the effect of the world around us.

We’re taught our whole lives that this type of thinking is just how a normal person reacts to life.

Meh. I’m not a believer. (not anymore, anyway 👈)

Now I’m not telling you that you should “just think happy thoughts” and your whole life will be honky-dory and full of rainbows. 🌈

But do you see how separating facts from the stories we tell ourselves about life gives us more power over our own happiness?

Give it a try. Even just once today.

You’ve got nothing to lose but frustration. 🤯

Have a beautiful weekend. 💖

[Photo by Danka & Peter on Unsplash]

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