Be An Example To Your Kids, Still

One of the biggest ways you can help your children after they’ve become independent of the nest is to continue to be an example.

Except now you shift from giving them the basics of how to live their lives, to being their example of how to live a full, rich, mature adult life. 

So stay active. 

Have fun.

Keep growing. Learn new things. Make new friends.

Take care of your health, both mental and physical.

Go on adventures.

Take risks.

Invest in yourself.

Be unstoppable.

They don’t want to see you shrink away and stop enjoying life now that you’re no longer a full-time mom. 

Not only does it make them happy to see you happy, it shows what is possible for them, too.

So give yourself permission to go and do All Of The Things.

Because you’re still their biggest teacher.

If you’re feeling stuck and not sure how living as that great example for your kids looks like for you, let’s talk about getting you unstuck. Just click here to get scheduled with me for a free, 30-minute strategy session.

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New Year, New Mamas 🥂

This is going to be an extraordinary year. I can feel it already. Not that every year isn’t great in its own right. 

But whenever there’s something big and new in the coming year, I’m even more excited about it. So I’m formally letting the world know that I’m shifting my core client group to: 

Empty Nest Moms! 

[cue the fireworks and confetti :-)]

I love and will still coach my Busy Working Moms. In fact I’ve always coached all kinds of folks – men and women included – with all kinds of needs for help: relationships, weight loss, business, career, time management, parenting – you name it. A good coach has the tools to help anyone on whatever they want help with. 

The inside scoop: for many coaches, our niche is really only in regard to our marketing. As they say in the biz world, “when you try to be everything to everybody, you become nothing to anyone”. So when you specialize your message, you speak directly to a certain group of people who need help.

I decided to make the shift earlier this year after my daughter left for college, making me an “empty nester”. The emotional ride of this major change required *a lot* of self-coaching. Yup, at times I was a hot mess. 

So I decided to help other moms in the same boat with their transition into this new phase of life. And what better time to make it official than the start of the New Year? 

I invite all moms to join me on the journey of tackling a new phase in life. It might not always be smooth, because processing the emotions of life can be a rocky ride. 

But I assure you, you’ll have a lot more joy than you will going it alone. 

Happy New Year, Mamas! 

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Are You Living Your Authentic Life?

Have you ever thought deeply and honestly about whether you are living an authentic life?

I’ve heard people describe living authentically as ‘always speaking your truth’.

That’s confusing authenticity with unfiltered honesty.  

Brene Brown defines authenticity as ‘the daily practice of letting go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are’.

Notice it’s who we are, not what we say or what we do.

It’s letting our hair down emotionally and living as the person who feels most natural to us.

Who we were born to be, and who we have grown into as adults.

No internal friction, no compromised desires, and no forced people-pleasing behaviors.

And no fear of judgement.

Now, living in authenticity doesn’t mean living without regard to social norms or common courtesy.

Nor does it mean refusing to compromise so you can always have your way.

It’s simply not allowing other people’s opinions of you to be more important than your own.

Embracing authenticity also means being open to the people in your life living in their own authenticity too.

Even when it’s hard to do that.

And even when we feel disappointed because that person’s not matching our expectations of them.

That’s where we learn to set our egos aside and love unconditionally.

In the end, isn’t learning to love ourselves and others unconditionally the most rewarding life lesson?

One of the hardest parts of embracing our full authenticity is first learning to love ourselves unconditionally.

But it’s the key to becoming a confident, happy, fulfilled woman.

I coach lots of overwhelmed and stressed out working moms on how to live authentic and fulfilling lives.

I can help you with that too.

➡️ Just click here to get started with a free strategy session, and you can be living your authentic life in less than a week. ⬅️

Time passes either way. Make the choice to take action and change your life now.

P.S. – Coaching can be the fastest way to start living your most authentic life.  Together we’ll create the path to living the life you want to be living. Click here to find out exactly how with a free 30 minute strategy session.

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Mom As a Superhero

Believe in yourself the same way you’d believe in any superhero.

You’re a mom, after all.

A working mom.

Keeping it all together, day after day.

If that’s not worthy of superhero-like praise, not much is. 💜

And if you can’t remember the last time you felt proud of what you accomplish every day, I can help you.

Together we’ll create the path to living the superhero life you want to be living. Click here to find out exactly how with a free 30 minute strategy session.

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❄️ Let It Go, Elsa (your story, that is)

I don’t need to tell you that we humans get into disagreements from time to time.

Some start out small, then snowball into larger and larger disagreements over time and with each exchange of words.

The next thing you know they’re creating rifts between family members and friends, damaging relationships that go unrepaired for years, or even for the rest of their lives.

And somewhere along the way everyone involved lost sight of how petty the initial agreement may have been.

🥔 Someone said her brother’s wife’s potato salad isn’t very good.
💸 A group of siblings thinks it’s not fair that their parents lent another sibling money for car repairs. Again.
🎰 A bridesmaid wouldn’t spring for her friend’s bachelorette party in Vegas.
🥱 Sister A told someone Sister B gives boring birthday gifts.

Just a tiny spattering of the things people create disagreements over.

And yet, if you ask them, each party probably wouldn’t look at the reason for the disagreement as petty.

When we feel we’ve been wronged somehow, we feel justified in clinging to our anger, no matter the reason. And no matter the consequences.

We tell ourselves a story over and over again of how we are the one who is right, because that person shouldn’t treat us this way.

Some people carry their stories of how they’re been wronged for YEARS. Even taking them to their graves.

Super sad. 😪

Because our stories of what took place are EXACTLY that. Just stories. Not reality.

They are merely thoughts that we have about a situation. Thoughts about an action, inaction, or interaction. Thoughts about an exchange of words.

Yet our thoughts about them are all OPTIONAL. And holding on to our stories is optional as well.

Letting go of our stories frees us from the suffering we create for ourselves by thinking that the people around us should behave differently and treat us differently.

Letting go redirects our mental energy towards strengthening our relationships with others, allowing us to experience more meaningful interactions with the people who are most important to us.

This weekend, think about some disagreements you may have had with someone (or are having right now!). Try to focus on the original reason for it, and how you might be able to let go of it being a reason for carrying negative thoughts of that person.

Then let it go, Elsa, let it go. ❄️

If you feel a weight lifting off your shoulders, you’re doing it right.


P.S. Tempers can flare easily in the summer heat. You can learn the ice princess’s wisdom of ‘letting it go’ with a FREE, 30-minute strategy session. Just click here to reserve your session now. (corny Dad jokes not included)

P.P.S. Working with a coach can help you repair any sadness, frustration, and long-term relationship damage caused by disagreements. It can help you learn to have a conflict-free relationship with anyone in your life, regardless of how they behave. Get started by clicking here.

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Take Time to Sing (with your kids)

We’re coming to the end of National Sing With Your Child Month, so here’s a flashback of my daughter and me in our community theater’s production of Bye Bye Birdie.

She’s moved on to high school-related activities, but we really enjoy the memories of the several summers we were acting and singing in plays together, alongside other families.

One option to keep your kids active – and yet still stay connected with them – is to find something that you can do together as a family.

Not sitting passively on the sidelines as your kid participates, but really participating together.

I get it – it’s hard enough finding time to keep up with everything that *has* to be done, yet alone add things to your already demanding schedule.

But as the mom of a high school student, I can attest to how fast the time with your kids passes.

The laundry, shopping, and dishes will get done somehow.

But the chances to create memories having fun doing something alongside your kids is fleeting.

Make the plans today.

When your kids are older, you won’t regret having them get clothes right out of the laundry basket to get dressed for school. (TBH you probably won’t even remember!).

But you will regret letting the chance to be with them, in whatever form, pass you by.

💜

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The Luck in Our Thoughts

One of the key elements of coaching is that our feelings are caused by our thoughts. This was one of the hardest things for me to grasp when I first got started with life coaching.

Like most people, I had always believed that my feelings – both positive and negative – just happen; they’re caused by other people and the things that take place in my life.

Most of us aren’t familiar with the concept of managing our thoughts. Because not only are we never taught how to, we’re not even taught that it’s possible – that it’s even a ‘thing’.

I am here to tell you it is. If this stubborn Irish woman can let go of her old beliefs to make it happen, I think anyone can.

Because eventually I realized how disempowering it is to believe that I am at the effect of the circumstances in my life. I got past my typical stubborn skepticism of believing that something like life coaching only works for other people, but not for me.

I learned how to manage my thoughts, and saw the immediate benefits it had on how I felt about myself, about other people, and about my life in general.

Call it the luck of the Irish.

Now I get to do this for a living. I get to see the transformation in other people when they (I’m gonna go there) get to the other side of the rainbow. *insert eyeroll here*

Happy St. Patrick’s Day, Mamas. ☘️🌈

I dedicate this post to my often-stubborn Irish grandmother, Mary Catherine “Katie” Martin. I know you’re up in heaven getting your buldoon painted green today, Grandmom. 💚

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Making Sure You Get the Best in Coaching

Think life coaching is an easy career? Then here’s a myth-buster for you: while it feels easy on most days because I love what I do, we don’t just get certified and sent on our way to do whatever we want with it. Not where I was certified, at least.

I was trained & certified through The Life Coach School. (yes, the one with the awesome podcast & group coaching program). In order to maintain our active certified coach status, we have to apply for re-certification annually.

That means we are required to:

✅ attend monthly learning calls for certified coaches

✅ attend special supplemental learning courses (this year they included a Diversity, Equity, & Inclusion course, and another on Therapy vs Coaching and knowing when to refer someone to counseling).

✅ (just this year) attend a suicide prevention course

✅ pass an exam on all of the current year’s learning

✅ maintain minimum requirements for coaching hours

✅ regularly publish free educational content through a blog, podcast, or otherwise

In exchange, we have access to all of the LCS free training and tools for free, for life.

And, of course, the pride of knowing the incredible value we provide as life coaches. Because we know the more tools we have in our toolboxes, the greater the help we give to our clients.

We don’t just ‘offer guidance’.

We change lives.🔥

Are you in?

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What Were You Taught About Money?

So many of our beliefs about money were learned from the adults who were around us growing up, influenced by our culture:

🧐 It’s tacky to talk about how much money you have.

🧐 If you want to make a lot of money, you have to work hard for it. And the more you want, the harder you have to work.

🧐 How much money you earn depends heavily on your education and your field of work.

The reality is, money is not inherently good or bad. Those labels come from when we assign meaning to it in our minds.

And the amount of money we make depends completely on the thoughts we have about money. If we think we can’t make more, or have more, we won’t. We remain in the time-for-money conundrum.

If we think we can make more and have more, we very likely will. We think about money from a place of abundance. From there, our minds open up to the possibilities for making more based on the limitless options for creating value.

What were you taught about money growing up? If you want to change how much you currently have, do you see yourself being able to change your thoughts and beliefs about money?

You can change your beliefs around money – including how you can make more. Just click here to get started.

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💞Loving the Past AND the Future

I’ve been taking a lot of trips down Memory Lane lately.

My stepmom is selling the house we grew up in (my dad passed away 5 years ago). I’ve been helping to sort through the decades of stuff that they’d stored in the garage.

🥑 The vintage avocado green melamine dishes we used when I was little.

⛺️ Vintage Coleman lanterns used on many a family camping trip.

🤠 My dad’s old Boy Scout knife, complete with cowboy-fringed leather holder.

🐈 My extensive collection of Bernard Kliban cat swag.

Plus, several boxes of my high school and college memorabilia. Yearbooks, photo albums, countless movie and concert ticket stubs.

All reminders of the fun and I had in those years. The simpler times.

Would I ever want to go back? Nope.

People are usually astonished when they hear me say that. “Life was so great as a kid/in high school/in college. Why wouldn’t you?”

I believe you can enjoy the memories of your past (the memories that serve you), but still prefer the here and now.

And, love the future and what it holds in store for you even more. Even when we don’t know exactly what that is.

Did I enjoy growing up, being a kid, and all the great experiences that came with it? Of course!

But I don’t believe in dwelling on those times and glorifying them like they were the best years I’ll ever have.

The past is comfortably enjoyable.

But I know that my future,
no matter how uncertain,
no matter how much pain and sadness and frustration
and anything else I might experience,
will be exciting and happy and rewarding too.

(Not the least of which is I’m looking forward to hopefully being a grandmother some day!!)

Our futures exist so we can grow and learn and experience things that will create the next set of memories for us, helping us live full and rewarding lives.

What do you think about your own future?

Make a list of at least five things you look forward to in the future. Then tuck that list in a book or your nightstand drawer, and re-read it every once in a while as a good reminder of what promises the future holds for you.

💜

P.S. If you feel so buried by what’s going on in your life now that you can’t even think about your future, it’s time to get some coaching. Live the life you’ve always wanted. Sign up for a free strategy session and we’ll start clearing up the overwhelm of the present to get you looking forward to your own future. Click here to grab your spot.

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