3 Big Secrets to a Long & Happy Marriage

3 bbig secrets to a long and happy marriage kelly head coaching

Iโ€™m often in awe of my aunt and uncle, who have been married for more than 50 years now.


Can you imagine?

We traveled to the midwest to visit them for a few days recently. When spending time around them, itโ€™s not hard to guess how they made it that long.

IMO, it comes down to a few things:

๐Ÿ’ŸThey both work very hard. My aunt is in her 70s, and still works as a realtor. They certainly donโ€™t need the money, she just enjoys her work. My uncle is a retired math teacher who often held two jobs. He didnโ€™t have to, but he likes to stay active and enjoys the rewards that working brings.

Their work ethic has always helped them maintain their sense of individual achievement. And yet the results of their work benefited the whole family at the same time.   

๐Ÿ’ŸThey spend a lot of time enjoying life – together and apart. They make it a point to regularly go on vacations, out to dinner, to parties, and other quality time activities, by themselves and with friends.

They also spend time apart – visiting friends, visiting family, my uncle on his fishing trips, my aunt with her girlsโ€™ weekends.

There is no clingy-ness there, just trust and the reality that getting a break from one another can also be healthy for a relationship.   

๐Ÿ’ŸThey donโ€™t do drama. Of course, my auntโ€™s upper midwest calm demeanor helps. ๐Ÿ˜Š But youโ€™ll never hear them take jabs at one another (or others), hold grudges, roll their eyes, or get angry when someone doesnโ€™t behave the way they wanted them to.

They understand whatโ€™s important to be concerned about, and what can and should be let go.

Iโ€™m sure there have been many difficult things go down between them and around them in those 50+ years. No marriage is perfect, of course.

And there are other reasons why I think theyโ€™ve made it this long.

But overall I think their success comes down to these 3 things:

๐Ÿ”‘ Be willing to let go of your ego and focus on the collective.
๐Ÿ”‘ Work hard, at your job and your relationship.
๐Ÿ”‘ Approach everything with unconditional love and acceptance.

I hope you find some inspiration in my observations of this long and happy marriage, whether you’re married, engaged, partnered, co-habitating, or any form of a relationship.


P.S. – Feeling constantly busy, overwhelmed, and stressed out can take a toll on any relationship. Coaching can help you get re-centered and focus on what’s important in life, so you can rekindle the loving relationship you’ve been missing. Get started with a FREE 30-minute strategy session by clicking here. 

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